A Sad Farewell

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news. Please 
join me in remembering of a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications 
from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with 
turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of 
his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he 
still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough 
and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50, for about 20 minutes